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The Bra-See-Ay

 The Bra-See-Ay is the name of my weekly blog. It is a play on the word brassiere. Bras and panties take on a key role in my novel, so it all comes back to that.

This blog is a place to entertain all kinds of silliness and to have fun. Learn something new, think outside the box, participate in contests, and get to know more about me, T.J. Corman.  

Chocolate Beats Sex

1/17/2021

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What is it about chocolate? In case you didn't see my list of Favourite Things posted on The Twelve Days of Christmas, here it is again:
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Photo by Nathana Reboucas
​         T.J. Corman's Five Favourite Things
1. Chocolate - sorry, Husband
2. Sex - I reiterate - sorry Husband - chocolate is chocolate after all
3. Vodka - speaks for itself. I've discovered vodka late in life, but say no more; it made number three
4. Sunglasses - of course - goes without saying
5. Black hair dye - Obviously
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So there it is in black and white.
​Chocolate beats sex. 
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I've heard this is possibly true for a lot of women. There's something about the feel of that sugar and fat combo melting in your mouth. And the lingering effect on your tongue. Sometimes I need to take a moment alone when I have a piece of chocolate in my mouth. I had a chocolate truffle the other day that almost sent me over the edge.

​Although I have a penchant for the more expensive type, it doesn't matter what kind of chocolate. At the age I am, I have to be more discerning about how I spend my calories. That means that over-the-counter chocolate from the drugstore doesn't cut it very often. But that's not what I'm getting at. I mean white chocolate, milk chocolate, dark chocolate, ultra-dark chocolate. Of course, I have my favourite and my preference lands squarely on dark chocolate – it's not too sweet, it's not too bitter, it's just right. Okay, Goldilocks.


Nutty chocolate is good. Chocolate poured over oatmeal is nice. Has anyone ever had a chocolate sandwich? I've never had deep-fried chocolate, though I hear it's good. I can't see how it's possible to eat it without burning your mouth. Chocolate licked off my body – always good. Chocolate licked off his body – that's enjoyable too.

I could go on and on about the virtues of chocolate. The scene in my book where Ginny and Jessie trade chocolate for Christmas gifts warms my heart. I love it that they don't have to share their chocolate with anyone else because it was a present.
​I digress.

I've recently started a body wellness reset. I hesitate to call it a diet because, in my case, that stands for, "Did I Eat That?". Weight loss dieting is so frustrating. I've finally gotten to the stage where I can call these changes a lifestyle improvement—a reset.
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​Photo by Yu Hosoi

You know that I recently retired. When that happened, it was like I threw all caution to the wind, and I experienced blissful freedom for the first time in years. I slept in, ate whatever I wanted, laid on the couch all day long, binge-watched TV. I did everything I wanted to and nothing. I went splat. It was fabulous. But I've reached the point where I've had enough of that now. It's time to get off my couch and do something. 

The first thing I'm resetting is my diet and exercise. I want to lose the weight I've gained, so I'm starting by cleaning up the kind of food I consume. I've looked at every fad that has hit the market in the last few years - paleo, keto, plant-based, various weight-loss programs that promise great results - and I've even tried a few. But I'm a volume eater, so if I have permission to eat as much as I want of something, I can go a bit crazy and lose all perspective. It's hard for me to reign it in.

I've had troubles with my gut health for a few years now. I've discovered changes that work for me, so I'm making those changes an essential part of my food plan. That means little or no refined sugar, gluten or dairy. I like to stick to naturally occurring sugar. I make gluten-free choices when they are available. I don't eat many dairy products, so forfeiting dairy isn't hard except that I love butter and ice cream.

The changes to my diet that I'm incorporating are:
  • eat fish 3 - 4 times per week, 
  • consume 5 - 12 servings of fruit and vegetables daily,
  • intermittent fast - eat between 10 a.m. and 6 p.m. 
  • take my healthy brain fats and vitamin supplements. 

After four decades of planning meals, grocery shopping, and cooking - I'm tired of it. I don't want to do it anymore - even though I'm good at it. So, Husband and I have recently hired a food delivery service to send preplanned menus to our house. He prepares these meals three times per week. He feels like an accomplished chef now, and, like always, I think he's a saint for cooking. It's structured, portion-controlled and no leftovers. The food is extraordinary (DM me on Facebook or Instagram if you want more details about this). We love it, and it simplifies our life.

I love to exercise, but I am the laziest person on earth. I'm prone to giving in to inertia and staying flat on the couch. I love sleeping, laying down with my feet up, and napping. However, throughout my life, I've been an active person with an athletic tendency. I've never been a jock, but I always have enjoyed sports, particularly individual sports. I like going to the gym, golfing, snow-shoeing, cycling, walking and hiking. At one point in my life, I was into wilderness backpacking.

I can't believe how hard it has been to haul my body off the couch and get outside. Partly, I'm not too fond of winter on the west coast of Canada because I loathe rain. I really should live in the desert or sunny Queensland (I used to live there. I was amazed that it was sunny - every - single - day). The Grande Dame and I have that in common, neither one of us likes getting our hair wet. However, when the rain stops - even if it's just for a few minutes - she and I put on our outdoor gear and go outside to enjoy a walk.

The change has started. The reinvention I spoke of last week is a budding metamorphosis. I'm in control of my life and my destiny. I don't like the extra weight I've been carrying around, so I'm getting rid of it. I don't like the risks I've been taking with my diet and exercise, so I'm fixing it. I say risks because I haven't been making healthy choices - not enough exercise, too much butter, too much sugar, too much gluten, and definitely, too much chocolate. 

​On that happy note, even if chocolate is the food of lovers, remember, sharing doesn't mean half.

That's it for now. I'll speak to you again next Sunday. Have the BEST day.

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Reinvention

1/10/2021

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There are lots of discussions these days about reinventing yourself. What the heck does that mean? Is there something wrong with me the way I am? Am I boring? Is my life dull? Madonna reinvents herself all the time and has since the beginning of her career. Is she different upon each reinvention, or is it a marketing ploy? Jlo reinvents herself. She's always the good 'ole gal from down the street, but she's a mogul with multiple images. Is she reinvented or marketed? Both, I suspect.

With the publication of the book I've written, I've reinvented myself. I'm still my old self, but there is a side coming out of me that has been left unattended for quite some time. TJ Corman, the author, is more the way I used to be when I was a younger woman. She's a bit cheeky. She pushes the limit a bit. She dresses in sexy clothes and feels hot (literally and figuratively). She is having fun.

These days, I apply red lipstick with utter abandon, something I used to wear all the time. It was part of my signature look. Then I stopped wearing it for years. Ginny, the main character in my book, is concerned that red lipstick makes her look older. I thought that for a long time too, but I'm over it now. I'm back to wearing red lipstick, and I love it. It doesn't make me look old. It looks great, and I feel vibrant with it on. I had forgotten how red lipstick made me feel – sexy, confident, beautiful. So I'm slapping it on daily now and reinventing myself.

I've also found my closet again. I love clothes, bold looks and bling. Black and red and white are my signature colours. I've often said that my entire world is like that old joke from when we were kids, "What's black and white and red (read) all over?" A newspaper is the answer. But really, it's my world. My dog is black and white, and my car is black and white, with red seat covers. Almost all my clothes are those three colours. I've strayed to other colours, but I've reunited with my standards, and I'm happy about it.

I've also started to "shop my closet." It's a jungle in there. I've recently been reorganizing it, transitioning from summer to winter clothes, changing hangers to those skinny velvet ones that use up less space. So, now there is more room for more clothes. NO. Not for me. I'm shopping in my closet. I have clothes in there that I've never worn. Embarrassing. 

As I confessed to you earlier, I've been caught wearing my pyjamas all day long, so some days I get dressed up just for the fun of it. I do my hair and apply that red lipstick. I'm becoming that young lady who used to live in the city (I live in the country now). I was horrified one day when I realized things had changed for me. I wore something to the grocery store that I wouldn't have worn gardening when I lived in the city. And, of course, I ran into someone I hadn't seen in a long time. I felt slovenly and unstylish. I'm over that now. I'm definitely reinvented or rediscovered and on my way to something new. What once was old is new again.

Remember to check out "Mama Cooked Today," my recipe blog, and let me know if you try it. I invite you to follow me on Instagram and Facebook.
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That's it for now. Have yourself the best day. I'll speak to you again next Sunday.
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The Bra-See-Ay and Panties

1/3/2021

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You learned a bit about me from reading the Twelve Days of Christmas series. You know I'm old enough to have retired. I'm a fun seeker, an author, a photographer, and a traveller. I suggested that we have a little bit of fun on this blog, so let's get started.

A word that's been in the forefront of my thinking lately is the brassiere. You only have to look at the cover of my novel to infer that. The bra-see-ay. What a word. What a concept. The over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder. The double-barrelled slingshot. A teenage boy had to have come up with those descriptions.

Ginny fusses over her bra and panties set early in my novel, "To You, From Me." She buys some expensive lingerie in preparation for her first big date with Mike. The price of such garments exasperates her, but she feels sexy for the first time in years when she puts them on. She likes the feeling of her body inside her new ensemble. She can't wait for Mike to see her new bra, but she is equally terrified to get naked in front of him.​ 
I have a love-hate relationship with the brassiere. I think a bra can be pretty and sexy, but I can't wait to take it off at the end of the day. Sometimes my bras are strewn around my living room. Not because Husband finds me irresistible (although he does), but because I often take my bra off while watching TV. I fling it in his direction so he can have a sniff. He loves that part. My bras lay around my living room because I often go braless. So, if I tore one off yesterday and left it on the couch, it is probably still there today. The one I wore the day before might be there too. Because I'm inherently lazy and probably didn't pick it up or put it back on.

I have a whole drawer full of bras in various colours, styles, and purposes. I even have matching panties for some of them. A bra can make you feel so good – sexy to the point that you can hardly wait for your partner to touch it and rip it off you, especially if it's one of those bra's that let your nipples peek out. I love those! They drive men mad, and that sort of reaction can make a woman feel powerful. 

The bra-see-ay can be sexy, ordinary, a workhorse, strapless, cupless, shiny, cotton, silk, underwire, trainer, medical, bold. I could go on and on with the modifiers. The thing is, they hold the most defining part of a woman's body – the breasts.

Breasts are so beautiful. I get why men like them. When I was a little girl, I liked to draw pictures of women with barbie doll bodies. Those women always had long hair flipped up at the ends, red lips, tiny waists and huge boobs. It's no wonder I grew up to write erotica. The suggestion of how a woman's body should look was planted firmly in my mind by pop culture. I don't have that kind of body, but I sure appreciate one. I've accepted that my body will never look like that. It's okay. It's less maintenance.

Panties are another marvel of the modern world. They keep us clean and protected. They have almost the same properties as the bra – they can be pretty, sexy, functional, modest, minuscule. I'm not sure that panties have the same effect on Husband as the bra does, but he likes my butt, so maybe they do.

I can't think of many cons for panties, outside of the riding up that sometimes happens when wearing an ill-fitting pair. Going commando is pleasant under the right circumstances, but sexy panties can be a thrill. The first time Husband got close enough to me to investigate my panties, he exclaimed, "You've got on frilly knickers!" (He's Australian – he talks funny!). He was delighted, and so was I. Similarly to Ginny, as she was dressing for that first date with Mike, I was glad that I had thought to wear my pink lace panties and matching bra. I felt confident at that moment.

Even though I think the thong looks incredible, I can't embrace it. Some women swear by it, claiming it's the most comfortable thing they've ever worn. NO. Other than the apparent benefit of no panty line, I don't see the attraction. To me, a thong is not comfortable until my bottom becomes so numb from the friction that I can't feel anything anymore. Further to that, sniffing them is out of the question. Sorry. I default to the old standard panty. It's practical, comfortable and looks good on me. Then again, maybe a pearl thong would be nice.

That's it for now. Have yourself the best day. I'll speak to you again next Sunday.​
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The Twelve Days of Christmas - Merry Christmas to You!

12/25/2020

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Photo by Chad Madden
​I hope you’ve enjoyed my Twelve Days of Christmas series. I wanted you to get to know a bit about me. My friendships. My hobbies. Some of the things that have happened in my life.


I will be taking a few days off over the Christmas holiday, returning with a new blog entry on Sunday, January 3rd. My blog will then be delivered weekly. You will have something thought-provoking, heart-wrenching, or just plain silly to look forward to every Sunday morning. Remember, my focus at the very beginning of this blog series is the word FUN! If you miss me, you can follow me on Facebook and Instagram, as I’ll still be filling those pages with anecdotes and commentary.

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I wish the best of the holiday season to you and yours. Don’t let these strange times get to you. “This, too, shall pass.”


                               
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                               That’s it for now. Have the best day. I’ll speak to you in the new year.
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The Twelve Days of Christmas - Bethlehem and Jerusalem

12/24/2020

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I took these photos when Husband and I travelled to Bethlehem and Jerusalem. Jerusalem is sometimes referred to as the holiest place on earth, as three significant religions reside there, Judaism, Christianity and Islam. More than eight and a half million people live there in approximately 125 square kilometres of space. It's crowded - and hot.

Once in a while, you get to visit a place where you can feel it's power. Uluru, Australia, is one of those places. The air vibrates with an inexplicable energy. That's the way it was for us as we walked down the streets of Jerusalem and Bethlehem. We walked the same path, the Via Dolorosa, where Jesus pulled his cross along his final steps toward his crucifixion. We touched the marble slab where his body was anointed after his death. To stand at the places where Jesus was born and then resurrected was incredible.

The pictures show the juxtaposition of the ancient and the modern. Western commercial and economic influences are evident. Cobblestone walkways polished shiny from billions of footsteps over millennia—the Roman Empire's impact in architecture amid the cities modern-day inhabitants. It was a wonderland there - a truly magical place.
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That's it for now. Have yourself the best day. I'll speak to you again tomorrow.

TJCorman
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The Twelve Days of Christmas - The Small Things

12/23/2020

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I've shared some of my unforgettable memories—the reasons why family and friends are at the heart of Christmas for me. The people we love make up such an essential part of our Christmas memories.

My mom died of breast cancer when I was a teenager. Her death has defined my life in so many ways I can't describe them all, at least not in this short blog. But this note is not about death and sadness. It is about love and friendship. My mother's best friend was her sister, and her sister became my surrogate mother after my mom died. I have always been close to my auntie and her daughters. My auntie called me her fourth daughter, and my cousins have treated me like a sister. 

I've spent most of my Christmas' with my auntie and her family. Years ago, the house was full of people. Relatives had come from Manitoba, which made Christmas especially exciting that year. I got to snuggle into bed with one of my older cousins, whom I adored (still do), and getting to sleep with her, was a treat. But she sleeps with her eyes partly open, and that was disconcerting when Santa was on his way, and I had to get to sleep! Many years later, after I had my own home, sometimes Husband and I would pick my auntie up on Christmas Eve. We'd bring her to our house so that we could enjoy Christmas morning together. We would go out of our way to spoil her with lots of presents to open and delicious food to devour. That's what she did for us for all those years in between. Once breakfast was over, we would pile into our car and join the rest of the family to play games and eat turkey and fritter the day away. When my auntie became elderly, we reverted to staying at her house. And, even though Husband and I had an uncomfortable sleep on the sofa bed, that did not matter. We weren't spring chickens anymore ourselves, and our backs hurt after a bleary-eyed sleep, but what mattered was our togetherness.

Small memories like that are what makes Christmas great. The effort people put into being together. The thoughtful things we do for one another and the kind ways we treat each other. Being included and being part of something greater than ourselves helps us to feel love. This year might be a time to start a new tradition for you. Create more small memories. Treat yourself if you are alone. Do something different that you've always wanted to do but haven't yet. You'll look back and say, "Remember that year that we...." This year has certainly made us think differently about how to live and what we want from life. The compilation of small memories is what makes life worth remembering.

That's it for now. Remember to get your entry in for the Book Club Give Away Challenge by tomorrow at midnight. Have yourself the best day. I'll speak to you tomorrow.

TJCorman
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The Twelve Days of Christmas - Someone Loves You

12/22/2020

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I am a woman who has been blessed with extraordinary friendships. I've had solid friendships with men and women, but of course, once the men find themselves a mate, they disappear. That begs the question, can men and women be real friends, but that is for discussion in another post. With the men out of the picture, that leaves the women, and I have an extraordinary story to tell you about my friend, Karla.

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My husband found a ceramic tree for sale on the internet. He said, "Hey! That's just like the tree you have! You could sell it - it's vintage!" I knew with that statement that he didn't understand the value of my ceramic tree. It is one of my priceless possessions, along with the story that goes with it. I did not pick it up at a box store. It has a unique history.
I still have friends that I made in elementary school. One of them, Karla, has been my friend since we were about eleven years old. If memory serves me correctly, I think we were in grade six when we got to know one another. We went through school together, hung out at parties, she was my Biology 11 lab partner, and we would get squeamish together about frog guts and so on. I was her maid of honour when she got married at such a ridiculously young age we didn't even realize how young we were. She is still married, by the way, to the same man. That's what an incredible soul she is.

As happens with friendships, sometimes we drift in and out of one another's lives, which is what happened to us. She got married. I went off to university. She had a baby. I partied my face off at university. You get the picture. Our lives went in different directions for a while. We always kept in touch at Christmas - exchanging Christmas cards and catching up on what was happening in our life. We would see each other at grad reunion parties, weddings of mutual friends and things like that, but for the most part, we weren't in one another's lives anymore.

Fast forward a few years, and I got married. Fast forward a few more years, and I got divorced. I was thoroughly heartbroken. It seemed to me that the whole world must be feeling my pain. My dog died a few days after he, "who-shall-not-be-named," left, and another friend of mine said she thought my dog died of a broken heart because he felt everything I felt. It did seem as though that dog lived through me. I was a complete wreck when my ex-husband walked out. My pain was beckoning the universe as I had never felt before. I was suffering complete agony within.

A few days after my ex left and my dog died, my phone rang out of the blue. It was Karla. We hadn't spoken to one another in a long time, and I was delighted to hear her voice on the other end of the line. I asked what made her call. She said that she woke up that morning and said to her husband, "TJ needs me. Something is wrong. I've got to call her."

Can you believe that? Of course, you can. How did she know I needed her? I would never have called her to ask for help. As I stated yesterday, we, as people, as souls, are inexplicably intertwined. There is no coincidence. You are reading this for a reason, and it's touching a part of you somehow. 

So, Karla phoned me, and we talked and talked. She said she was coming for a visit to stay with me for a few days to help me through this difficult time. She came, and we had the best time together. Well, I did, anyway. I sure appreciated her company. I cried a ton and poured my heart out to her. She listened. She didn't judge me. She just loved me and was there when I needed her most. I didn't even have to ask her. She just knew. We didn't do anything extraordinary - we just hung out together as we did all those years ago. We went shopping, made healthy meals, and oh, did I mention that I cried a ton and talked her ear off.

Now, back to the ceramic tree. Karla made that ceramic tree for me and gave it to me for Christmas about a gazillion years ago. We were discussing it the other day, and we think we might have been eighteen years old. That timeline does make my ceramic tree vintage. But as I mentioned before, it's also priceless, and my story tells you why. I bring my ceramic tree out every year and place it in a prominent position in my home. It's in perfect condition (just like Karla!). I remember the love, selflessness and intuition of my friend every time I look at it.

I can't recall where I first heard the following statement, but it has stayed with me and helped me through some terrible times. I'll leave it with you to think about.

"Someone loves you more than you know."

That's it for now. Have yourself the best day. I'll speak to you again tomorrow.

TJCorman
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The Twelve Days of Christmas - My Two Dads

12/21/2020

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​Years ago, there was a television show called 
My Two Dads. I must admit that I never watched it, and I don't know what it was about, but the title always stuck with me because that was me. I had two dads.

I was born out of wedlock in the early 1960s. It wasn't a good time in history for a young woman to fall pregnant and have a baby without being married. There was plenty of judgement and shame that accompanied unwed mothers. It turned out that I was given for adoption, but I was adopted into my own blood family. My biological uncle adopted me. He was my birth mother's older brother. He died long ago, but today, December 21, was his birthday.

Interestingly, my biological parents were very much in love but were young and scared and possibly acted irrationally about their situation. They did not get married. I never heard the story of their youthful love affair or knew my birth father's family until many years later. My birth father is also deceased, and the cosmic part is that he died on December 21.

There is no coincidence. We are inexplicably intertwined. This is real-life magic.

Today I honour my two dads. One I loved dearly, and one I never met, but I know him in ways I can't explain.
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That's it for today. Have yourself the best day. I'll speak to you again tomorrow.

TJCorman
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The Twelve Days of Christmas - T'was the Night...

12/20/2020

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I took this classic Christmas poem and turned it into an irreverent parody. These are only the first two verses. I'm not game to post the whole thing on my blog. You will have to wait for an in-person meeting at a book club dinner or some such event where we meet in person. Please accept my most sincere apologies if I offend you in any way. And I hope that Clement Clarke Moore pardons me for making his Christmas classic into a sexy joke. Gone now for over two hundred years, I hope he is not turning in his grave.​
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T'was the Night Before Christmas Parody


T’was the night before Christmas and all through the abode,

Not a creature was stirring, not even the dog,
The bras and panties were hung on the Christmas tree with care,
In hopes that Saint Husband, soon would be there;
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The adults were nestled all snug in their bed,
While visions of orgasms filled up their heads.
Mama in her negligee and I in my skivvies,
Had just settled down for a long night of jiggy.

                That's it for now. Have yourself the best day - and speculate on what the rest of my poem says!
                                                                     I'll speak to you tomorrow.

TJCorman
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The Twelve Days of Christmas - T.J.'s Five Favourite Things

12/19/2020

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My list of five favourite things - other than husband, dog, bling, bright lights, big city, coffee,  sleeping, clothes, the colour red, red lipstick, shoes, zazz, reading, writing, joking, tv, friends, family, etc.
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T.J. Corman's List of Five Favourite Things in 2020

1. Chocolate - sorry husband - he made number one on the other list
2. Sex - I reiterate - sorry husband - chocolate is chocolate after all
3. Vodka - speaks for itself. I've discovered vodka late in life, but say no more, it made number three
4. Sunglasses - of course - goes without saying
5. Black hair dye - Obviously

That's it for now. Have yourself the best day. I'll speak to you again tomorrow.

TJCorman
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