Chocolate Beats Sex

What is it about chocolate? In case you didn't see my list of Favourite Things posted on The Twelve Days of Christmas, here it is again:

Photo by Nathana Reboucas

​         T.J. Corman's Five Favourite Things
1. Chocolate - sorry, Husband
2. Sex - I reiterate - sorry Husband - chocolate is chocolate after all
3. Vodka - speaks for itself. I've discovered vodka late in life, but say no more; it made number three
4. Sunglasses - of course - goes without saying
5. Black hair dye - Obviously

So there it is in black and white.
​Chocolate beats sex. ​

I've heard this is possibly true for a lot of women. There's something about the feel of that sugar and fat combo melting in your mouth. And the lingering effect on your tongue. Sometimes I need to take a moment alone when I have a piece of chocolate in my mouth. I had a chocolate truffle the other day that almost sent me over the edge.

​Although I have a penchant for the more expensive type, it doesn't matter what kind of chocolate. At the age I am, I have to be more discerning about how I spend my calories. That means that over-the-counter chocolate from the drugstore doesn't cut it very often. But that's not what I'm getting at. I mean white chocolate, milk chocolate, dark chocolate, ultra-dark chocolate. Of course, I have my favourite and my preference lands squarely on dark chocolate – it's not too sweet, it's not too bitter, it's just right. Okay, Goldilocks.

Nutty chocolate is good. Chocolate poured over oatmeal is nice. Has anyone ever had a chocolate sandwich? I've never had deep-fried chocolate, though I hear it's good. I can't see how it's possible to eat it without burning your mouth. Chocolate licked off my body – always good. Chocolate licked off his body – that's enjoyable too.

I could go on and on about the virtues of chocolate. The scene in my book where Ginny and Jessie trade chocolate for Christmas gifts warms my heart. I love it that they don't have to share their chocolate with anyone else because it was a present.

​I digress.

I've recently started a body wellness reset. I hesitate to call it a diet because, in my case, that stands for, "Did I Eat That?". Weight loss dieting is so frustrating. I've finally gotten to the stage where I can call these changes a lifestyle improvement—a reset.

                                                         


​Photo by Yu Hosoi

---

You know that I recently retired. When that happened, it was like I threw all caution to the wind, and I experienced blissful freedom for the first time in years. I slept in, ate whatever I wanted, laid on the couch all day long, binge-watched TV. I did everything I wanted to and nothing. I went splat. It was fabulous. But I've reached the point where I've had enough of that now. It's time to get off my couch and do something. 

The first thing I'm resetting is my diet and exercise. I want to lose the weight I've gained, so I'm starting by cleaning up the kind of food I consume. I've looked at every fad that has hit the market in the last few years - paleo, keto, plant-based, various weight-loss programs that promise great results - and I've even tried a few. But I'm a volume eater, so if I have permission to eat as much as I want of something, I can go a bit crazy and lose all perspective. It's hard for me to reign it in.

I've had troubles with my gut health for a few years now. I've discovered changes that work for me, so I'm making those changes an essential part of my food plan. That means little or no refined sugar, gluten or dairy. I like to stick to naturally occurring sugar. I make gluten-free choices when they are available. I don't eat many dairy products, so forfeiting dairy isn't hard except that I love butter and ice cream.

The changes to my diet that I'm incorporating are:

• eat fish 3 - 4 times per week, 
• consume 5 - 12 servings of fruit and vegetables daily,
• intermittent fast - eat between 10 a.m. and 6 p.m. 
• take my healthy brain fats and vitamin supplements. 

After four decades of planning meals, grocery shopping, and cooking - I'm tired of it. I don't want to do it anymore - even though I'm good at it. So, Husband and I have recently hired a food delivery service to send preplanned menus to our house. He prepares these meals three times per week. He feels like an accomplished chef now, and, like always, I think he's a saint for cooking. It's structured, portion-controlled and no leftovers. The food is extraordinary (DM me on Facebook or Instagram if you want more details about this). We love it, and it simplifies our life.

I love to exercise, but I am the laziest person on earth. I'm prone to giving in to inertia and staying flat on the couch. I love sleeping, laying down with my feet up, and napping. However, throughout my life, I've been an active person with an athletic tendency. I've never been a jock, but I always have enjoyed sports, particularly individual sports. I like going to the gym, golfing, snow-shoeing, cycling, walking and hiking. At one point in my life, I was into wilderness backpacking.

I can't believe how hard it has been to haul my body off the couch and get outside. Partly, I'm not too fond of winter on the west coast of Canada because I loathe rain. I really should live in the desert or sunny Queensland (I used to live there. I was amazed that it was sunny - every - single - day). The Grande Dame and I have that in common, neither one of us likes getting our hair wet. However, when the rain stops - even if it's just for a few minutes - she and I put on our outdoor gear and go outside to enjoy a walk.

The change has started. The reinvention I spoke of last week is a budding metamorphosis. I'm in control of my life and my destiny. I don't like the extra weight I've been carrying around, so I'm getting rid of it. I don't like the risks I've been taking with my diet and exercise, so I'm fixing it. I say risks because I haven't been making healthy choices - not enough exercise, too much butter, too much sugar, too much gluten, and definitely, too much chocolate. 

​On that happy note, even if chocolate is the food of lovers, remember, sharing doesn't mean half.

That's it for now. I'll speak to you again next Sunday. Have the BEST day.